Why You Shouldn’t Struggle With Self Worth

Self-DefinitionWhat defines you?

Is it how you look?

Is it what you’re good at?

Could it be your job…or how much money you have?

Or perhaps it’s your religion.

Or maybe what defines you is how you view yourself.

What about how other people view you. Is that what defines you?

The other day I was reading in the book of Romans when I found something that Paul wrote:

“The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.”

Paul says that we are defined by the one who created us and what he does in us.

Jesus makes this same point in John 15. He says that God is the vine and we are the branches. I don’t care how productive or beautiful a branch is, if you cut it off from the vine, it shrivels and dies like any other.

Your identity, if it comes from the stuff I mentioned above: money, looks, religion, others opinions…can falter and fail.

The thing about God is that he gives us some guarantees in the scriptures. One is that he doesn’t change (Hebrews 13:8). Another is that he will always be at work in us (Romans 11:29).

If we accept that who we are – our self worth – is rooted in the one who made us and loves us, nothing can affect that.

God himself, through the prophet Isaiah says this: “From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done.” (Isaiah 43:13)

Nobody – nothing – has the ability to change your worth. If you feel that way, I encourage you to look at what God says about you – he says that you were worth the sacrifice of his own son, so that you could live the life he wants you to have.

God doesn’t change, and therefore, neither does your worth.

The Echoes of God

echo1 Kings 19 tells the story of the prophet Elijah.

Elijah reaches a point in his life where he’s depressed and frustrated – to the point where his only prayer left is asking God to let him die.

God summons Elijah to a particular mountain and tells Elijah to prepare for God’s arrival.

As Elijah stands inside a cave, awaiting the arrival of the almight, a hurricane wind arrives and literally shatters rocks on the mountain. But the scripture says that ‘God wasn’t to be found in the wind’.

So Elijah continues to wait.

Next, a great earthquake rocks the mountain. But God wasn’t in the earthquake.

So Elijah continues to wait.

A great fire rages across the mountain next. But God wasn’t in the fire.

So Elijah continues to wait.

What happens next is that God shows up. Not in a show of force and power, but in a quiet whisper.

As soon as Elijah hears the quiet whisper, he covers his face out of great respect and walks to the mouth of the cave to meet with God.

I often have people asking me how to hear from God. I believe God is constantly speaking within all of us. It simply requires us to listen to the whispers in our heart.

This voice mixed with the essence of who we are, and it sounds very much like our own inner thoughts when it arrives.

To an analytical person, it will be analytical. To an emotional person, it will be emotional.

The secret to hearing from God is simply to listen. God’s thoughts will be found within you, if you will just look for them. If you will just listen to what is flowing out of your heart as you seek him.

This quieting down takes practice. Meditating, praying, reading the scriptures, fasting, worshiping – these practices help us to quiet ourselves down and to hear the echoes of God within our own soul.

When Jesus arrived on this planet, the scriptures say there was nothing noteworthy about his appearance (see Isaiah 53).

God is secure in his greatness – he has no need to use parlor tricks to prove himself. That’s why he will speak in a gentle whisper. That’s why he walked this earth as a simple, ordinary man.

God does not shove his greatness down our throat. Instead, he fills the background of the universe with his greatness. If we choose to ignore it, we can easily do so. But if we will spend a very little effort searching for it, we find it everywhere.

Echoes are a little quieter than the sound they come from. We can only hear echoes if we stop making noise.

God’s greatness is echoing through our universe, our world, and within our own souls. I encourage you to occasionally take time to stop what you’re doing and listen.

The day will come when we no longer live in a land of echoes, but rather in the midst of the very greatness that reverberates everywhere.

But for now, we must look past the wind and the earthquake and the fire that would distract us, and listen for the whisper of the one who is greater than them all.

How to Have Peace in Frustrating Circumstances

calmIn the past couple of years, I was in a situation where I felt that God was telling me about a coming transition, but I could never find signs of that transition being imminent.

Most of my despair and frustration came from the fact that I didn’t know if I had really heard from God, so I was almost always wrestling with despair.

In situations like these, I think about the story in Matthew 8 where Jesus and the disciples are in a boat when a huge squall comes up. The disciples start to freak out, but Jesus remains asleep.

Keep in mind, several of these guys are professional fishermen. They have seen storms before. If they think they’re going to die from this storm, chances are good that they knew what they were talking about.

So in this panic, they wake Jesus up. He calms the storm, then he says something that was troubling to me: “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” (Matthew 8:26)

Seriously, Jesus?

We’re seriously supposed to find ourselves in the midst of deadly storms, look over to see you asleep and say ‘No worries!’?

But I found something interesting in what I was reading today.

In Acts 12, Peter has been arrested. He’s kept in jail for several days, guarded by 16 guards. The church is praying for Peter, but the day of his execution has arrived.

To be extra sure that Peter isn’t going anywhere, he has been chained directly to TWO guards!

And what is Peter doing, hours before his scheduled murder, in prison, chained to the guards?

“Peter slept like a baby.” (Acts 12:6)

Wow.

Well, maybe Peter knew God would free him, and that’s where his faith came from. Except that after an angel appears and busts him out of prison, Peter says this:

“I can’t believe it – this really happened!” (Acts 12:11) Peter wasn’t expecting to be freed. He figured the worst would happen, but he was willing to accept God’s plan.

I am reminded of a story that’s not in the bible, so take it with a grain of salt. A man named Smith Wigglesworth – a great evangelist – once woke up in the middle of the night to find satan himself standing at the foot of his bed. Wigglesworth said ‘Oh. It’s just you.’, then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

Faith isn’t about believing the best will happen until it finally does. Faith is about fully accepting that what will happen is according to God’s plan. We can certainly ask God to do things – the church was fervently praying for Peter’s release. But when Jesus prayed to avoid the cross, he accepted that then answer was ‘no’.

If God tells you something is going to happen, trust in it. Jesus wasn’t worried in the boat because he knew God’s plan. Nothing would derail it.

Peter isn’t worried because even though he doesn’t know God’s exact plan, he knows that nothing will derail it.

God is in control. That’s why we can sleep in the storm. That’s why we can sleep like a baby when our execution is scheduled the next day. That’s why we don’t need to worry about the health of our children, or about where our next job will be.

I know it’s easier said than done, but there is hope. Peter went from freaking out in the storm to being at peace in the darkest of circumstances.

Let us continue to grow in our faith until we can rest easy when everyone else is freaking out. I can’t think of many more powerful ways to point to God in our lives than that.

A Christian View of Tragedy

BostonToday, America again experienced an attack of mass violence.

The detonations near the finish line of the Boston Marathon killed 3 people, maimed many more, and injured more than a hundred.

One of the two victims, it has been confirmed, was 8 years old. My oldest daughter is 8 years old, so this information was particularly impacting to me. I’m not sure how it would feel to lose any of my kids, and I certainly hope I never have to find out.

This comes after the terrible events late late year in Newtown, Connecticut where 26 children and adults lost their lives in another mass attack.

In the recent past, we have seen attacks in movie theaters, malls, schools and colleges.

I am of the opinion that these types of events, for the foreseeable future, will continue. (Until the depression, mental illness, anger, frustration, etc that cause these events has been dealt with, I don’t assume peoples’ actions will suddenly go in a different direction.)

Columbine, a decade ago shocked us to our core. If that event happened again today, we would shake our head and lament it as the latest event in a series of others. The 13 deaths in that event (Or 15, if you include the shooters who took their own lives) may be viewed as thankfully lower than Virginia Tech, Newtown or Norway.

How are the believers in an all-powerful and all-loving God supposed to view these events?

Are they part of God’s mysterious plan?

That would leave us in the place where we must bury our questions and our feelings of deep sadness – for to do otherwise would be to doubt God. I reject that stance completely.

I think God is just as saddened as we are by these events. I mentioned the pain I would feel if my daughter was killed.

Well, each person is a son or a daughter to God. Their loss is great to him. And also painful is the fact that one of his children committed the terrible act.

Jesus, after all, wept at the grave of his dear friend Lazarus – and he knew that he was about to resurrect Lazarus!

Jesus understands the pain of personal loss. The idea of a need to be stoic – that is, essentially emotionless – in the face of such event is foreign to the Jesus I see in the scriptures.

In fact, Jesus specifically addressed two events of mass violence and tragedy that were on the mind of people who were listening to his message.

In Luke 13, Jesus is informed that Pilate (the same one who would eventually sentence Jesus to death) had just executed some people as they were offering sacrifices at God’s temple.

You can be sure that this news hit the ears of those in Israel as hard as the news of Newtown hit mine and yours.

In response, Jesus reminds his followers of another recent tragedy, where a building fell on and killed 18 people.

And Jesus tells them this: That these people were no better or worse than anybody else.

They didn’t die because they were bad or evil. They died because Pilate was cruel. Or they died because a building was poorly constructed.

Jesus doesn’t go into a long explanation about mankind having free-will, and therefore at fault. He doesn’t  start talking about how God works in mysterious ways, or that it was ‘just these people’s time’.

He says “Unless you turn to God, you, too will die.” (Luke 13:1-5 The Message)

In other words, the only thing you can control is whether or not you are ready to stand before God.

Jesus says as plain as day that we will have to deal with tragedy and pain in this world. (John 16:33) There is no way around it. Following Jesus isn’t insurance against pain.

But here is what he guarantees: That he’ll never leave us. He’ll never forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) He also guarantees that he’ll make something beautiful out of the mess (Romans 8:28)

C.S. Lewis said that God “whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.”

You don’t need to believe that God causes pain, but I encourage you to believe him when he says that his kindgom is overtaking us, and that he brings with himself the healing and peace that we all long for.

I don’t know when or where the next act of mass violence will occur in our nation. And I can’t tell you that it’s part of God’s plan.

But I can tell you that it won’t derail God’s plan.

And I can tell you that he invites all of us to be a part of his plan to restore this world.

In the second to last chapter of the Bible, God says he is making all things new.

We’re not there yet, but I assure you that God fulfills his promises.

Why Easter?

tombWhen Jesus made the greatest sacrifice – willingly dying to accept the penalty for the sins, one of the last things he said was ‘it is finished.’

In other words, what he wanted to accomplish on the cross was done. For all time. No further sacrifice for sin would ever need to be made. When you or I screw up, Jesus doesn’t have to get back up on the cross to take care of it.

So why Easter?

Why raise from the dead?

Sin has been paid for.

Because Jesus didn’t just come to forgive our sin. He came to give us a new life. He came so that once sin was no longer anchoring us, we would then be able to unfurl our sails and start a journey, an adventure of living.

If Jesus was still laying in his tomb today, it means our sins would be paid for, but that there would be no power available for us to take advantage of that.

In John 10:10, Jesus says that he came not only so that they work of the enemy would be broken in our lives, but that we may have a more abundant life.

God doesn’t want you to solemnly sit around and acknowledge that he died for our sins. He wants us to understand that, then start to LIVE.

We’re not sitting around waiting to get to heaven. God has placed heaven inside of us. And it’s the job of believers in Jesus to give it away!

We don’t just serve a God of forgiveness and mercy.

We serve a God of rebirth and resurrection and renewal.

What was broken isn’t just fixed, it’s been completely overhauled and restored to it’s originally intended glory.

As you celebrate Easter with your family, know that God is for you, God is with you, and God won’t let anything stand in the way of you connecting with him. Not even death.

Rejection

rejectionI was reading John chapter 12 today in the Message translation when I got to verses 47-48, where Jesus says this:

“If anyone hears what I am saying and doesn’t take it seriously, I don’t reject him. I didn’t come to reject the world; I came to save the world. But you need to know that whoever puts me off, refusing to take in what I’m saying, is willfully choosing rejection.”

Jesus says that he doesn’t reject anybody. But some people reject him.

I look at the infinite patience Jesus had for people who were leading corrupt or broken lives. I wondered how Jesus did that. How could he show such mercy and grace to people that were living in a manner completely opposite to what God had called them to?

I think it’s because they never rejected him. You never see a prostitute or thief or leper that Jesus forgives or heals telling him off; questioning whether he is sent by God.

The people who rejected him were the ones who didn’t think Jesus had the right to forgive and even heal. They didn’t take him seriously. Those were the ones who Jesus had to confront and combat regularly.

It’s very easy to see fault in other people’s lives. But when our response stops being compassion and acceptance, I think we become people who don’t take Jesus seriously.

Prayer

I’ve been reading quite a bit of material on other faiths recently, as preparation for a class I’m teaching this fall. There’s one faith that I just did some in depth study on where a daily prayer ritual exists. To complete this ritual takes between 2 and 3 hours each day.

I have a great deal of respect for people who are disciplined enough to devote 2 to 3 hours to saying the same stuff each morning before the sun rises and after the sunset, and I don’t mean to belittle their efforts in worship and devotion; but I do respectfully believe that prayer is supposed to be so much more.

I worry that when prayer becomes a ritual, it loses its power.

Having a wedding ceremony once? Beautiful and meaningful. Having a wedding ceremony every weekend? Pointless and tedious.

I see signs of ritualization of prayer in Christianity. Here’s what I mean:

Praying over our food at each meal.

Praying before every athletic event and practice.

Praying before bed every night.

Praying when we wake up every day.

Isn’t it possible that “saying a prayer” 10-15 prayers a day will turn the prayer into an obligation? Perhaps I’m dead wrong here. Perhaps saying a prayer before every single meal will help some people remain focused on God’s generosity or provision.

I pray over some meals and not others. The funny thing is that the times when I don’t pray, God doesn’t turn the meal to worms and give me food poisoning.

Another faith I read about writes prayers on flags. Each time the wind blows the flag, they believe the prayer is sent up to heaven.

I simply can not accept this as an appropriate attitude for the Christian faith. Yet, when we say obligatory prayers at certain times, I feel we are doing essentially the same thing.

I’m not arguing that you or anybody else should pray more or pray less. Just that we must be weary of letting prayer become a ‘thing we do’. I find that often repeated rituals rob something of its genuine essence.

I believe prayer is important and valuable. Too important and valuable, in fact, to let it become a chore. So I pray all the time. But I don’t feel pressure to do it at any particular time.

I don’t think God is waiting behind a tree waiting to cause me harm if I forget to ask for protection on that particular morning.

I do think that spending time listening for God on a daily basis is important. Some days I don’t feel like I heard anything specific. Other days, I get distinct, strong impressions of what God is saying to me or showing me.

Prayer, reading the scriptures, singing, fasting; these are very valuable tools in the process of ones spiritual development. But like tools, they must be used for a purpose.

If I simply pick up a hammer and hit a piece of scrap wood everyday because ‘it’s a hammer and it’s supposed to hit wood’, I’m not actually building anything. ‘Praying because you’re supposed to pray’ is the same thing.

Let’s not feel that we need to pray more, let’s try to pray more genuinely, more interactively. For when we connect with God, then we have used the tool to accomplish its true purpose.

Waiting on God

I noticed something in the Bible today: Jesus didn’t take shortcuts.

He was born as a baby, not a man.

He let John baptize him, despite the fact John thought it was ridiculous. Jesus’ response? “It should be done, for we must carry out all that God requires.” (Matthew 3:15) In other words, this is plan God laid out, so we’re gonna do it right.

After John the Baptists imprisonment, Jesus went to Galilee in order to fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah (see Matthew 4:15-17)

See, despite the fact that Jesus was fully qualified to fulfill his role, his calling at any point; he had to wait until it was time. He had to do all the things that needed to occur before beginning his ministry. He had to do the first things first. Because God’s plan is to be followed, not picked and skipped like some out of date procedure.

The past two years of my life, I have been waiting. Waiting for God to put me in a place that could fulfill my calling in a full-time position. I have been working at a job that allowed me to support my family and put myself through Graduate school. With school complete, I sought a job that would be in line with my mission, my calling.

But the silence from heaven on when I would get to that place was deafening.

I wrestled with frustration. I cried, I yelled, I demanded, I set ultimatums, I proclaimed, I begged. I know what it’s like to try not to hope for something better because the hope just hurts.

I knew that God was preparing me and maturing me, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t really, really hate the process.

That season of my life is now coming to a close. In the span of 1 month, here are the changes to my life that are occuring:

- My wife gave birth to our third child (our first son).

- I was offered a full time position as a pastor at a local church.

- I will start teaching my first classes at a local university as an adjunct professor.

You should realize that being in ministry at a really awesome church and working as a professor are two things I have been asking God for over the course of the two years. And I’m ecstatic to have another kid. I always wanted to have at least 3.

God has given me all I’ve ever wanted, but only at the proper time.

My wife and I had another offer for a job before this, but we felt it wasn’t part of God’s plan. We had to turn it down at the time. That was painful, but now we see that if we had taken that position, we never would have gotten to ‘the promised land’. If we had taken the easy way out, we would have missed the awesome things God was about to do.

As I look back on the past two years, I see how God was with me the entire time. Even (perhaps especially) on the worst days, when I was full of despair and hopelessness.

I’ve heard the cliche many times that ‘Trusting God means trusting in his timing’. But it certainly is true. God isn’t mean or cruel or forgetful. He does let us deal with adversity and challenges and uncertainty. Not because it amuses him, but because (I believe) he wants us to learn to trust him more and more.
My best friend put it like this: as a parent, it’s great to tell your kids some great news and see them dance around the house shouting with joy. But it’s also meaningful to hold them tightly and whisper words of encouragement when they are sad or hurt or fearful. A true relationship is not just built on the ‘highs’ of life. It is build on the lows and the normal, boring days as well.

There’s no way to rush depth in a relationship. It takes time and shared experiences. And I believe that is why God would never give us shortcuts. Because to avoid adversity or uncertainty would mean that his relationship with us will be cheapened and weakened.

He is not a fair weather God. He wants us to know that he’ll be with us in the worst of times as well as the best of times.

Why I am not a Republican (or a Democrat)

From reading the scriptures, I believe I have the following obligations as a citizen:

Acknowledge the authority of the government (1 Peter 2:13-17)

Pray for those who are in charge (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

Pay taxes (Mark 12: 13-17)

Nothing about being required to help shape the government. Nothing about trying to get more moral laws put into place. Nothing about political activism whatsoever. Seriously. Find a place where Jesus does absolutely anything that’s aimed at accomplishing political ends.

At the time he was in Israel, it was dominated by a brutal Roman regime. Does Jesus say anything about revolt or uprising? About people being freed from its authority? About how God wants them to have a democracy?

I haven’t been able to find any of those ideas so far.

You may think I’m being anti-American. I’m absolutely not. I’m not about to go into some diatribe about how terrible America is or some such silliness. America is one country out of almost 200 countries on earth. I don’t think God loves it more or less than Uzbekistan, Peru or Turkey. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with loving your country. But I do think we must be careful not to confuse patriotism with the call to be in a relationship with God.

I recall the story of Jonah; a man who put his nationalistic zeal above God’s will.

See, Nineveh (capital of the Assyrian Empire) is involved in some pretty bad interactions with Israel. At one point, they took almost 30,000 captives from Israel and Israel at times had to pay tribute to Assyria. You can probably understand then, when a man who loved Israel with all his heart was told to go and lead Nineveh into repentance so God would forgive them, why he instead chose to run in the exact opposite direction.

Jonah’s love for his country prevented him from serving the kingdom of God in that instance. I don’t think it’s evil to love your country and support it, but it is critical to make sure we are seeking first the kingdom of God.

When the apostles are confronted by the Sanhedrin in Acts 5, at no point do they question the authority of those in government. Even in their disobedience (“We must obey God rather than man (v.29)), they accept the punishment given to them. In fact, they rejoice in their punishment (v.41).

I do not believe that politics is how God plans for his kingdom to come and his will to be down on earth as it is in heaven.

I believe the government should govern. That’s the job God has given it. But I do not believe I am called to realize the kingdom of heaven through the machinery of politics or government. The kingdom of heaven is much larger. The idea that politics could even begin to encompass God’s purposes is a joke. Sadly, it’s a joke that many people have bought into. Legislating morality, imposing monolithic standards on large groups of people; some people view this as not only being their right, but their duty.

Jesus didn’t try to find ways to back people into a corner where they had no choice but to do what he said. He didn’t look for ways to force his preferences upon everyone else. He loved, he accepted, he inspired. The only people he got furious with? Those who were trying to force people into a religious paradigm.

Politics is the art of gaining, keeping and using power. I serve a God who, by example, demonstrated that it’s my job to serve. Those who want power can have it. I’ve got more important things to do.

Judgement in a Facebook World (or, What Would Jesus Post?)

Just because facebook gives us a glimpse into people’s lives doesn’t mean it also gives us the right to render judgement upon it. That’s the job of people in their lives at the local faith community level.

What does the Bible say about Judgement?

It says not to judge hypocritically. It says believers should not judge those outside the church. It says judgement should be handled at the local church level through appropriate authority. It says judgment between Christians should not be put on display before non-believers.

The bible says that if you see another believer sinning, you should confront them.  So if somebody who identifies themselves as a Christian puts some seriously questionable material or comments up on their Facebook page, do we have the option and/or the obligation to confront that person?

Does Matthew 18 now involve the guidance to ‘first private message that person, and if they don’t respond then confront them on their wall’?

Rendering judgment upon people in Facebook just seems like a very dangerous precedent to me. I’m not entirely sure you can avoid hypocritical judgment when telling people what you think about their content on facebook. And are arguments between Christians really the thing you want their non-believing friends to see? You’re probably going to end up re-enforcing stereotypes that won’t lead anybody to spiritual life – that Christians are judgmental, nosy, and holier than thou.

I think we who are not in a place to interact offline with people should restrain ourselves to encouragement where possible. If you want to get into a conversation about whether you agree with somebody’s stance on gay marriage or abortion, that may be fine. But if you know that it will devolve into arguing, perhaps it would be best to restrict yourself.

Better, I think, to avoid those kinds of topics unless they can be discussed on a personal level, with a friend rather than a person who we kind of know and never see in real life.

I believe we as Christians should view Facebook and the social world not as a place where we should bring a ruler to rap the knuckles of others, but as a chance to encourage and uplift through affirmation. If Jesus had a Facebook page, I just don’t think he’d be interested in flaming people with it. It would be a place people would go so that they could be part of something great and good.